Lookit Me JohnnyBoy~

Gome Home on Friday and to Work on Monday.

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This too.

スーパーマリオでウエスタンショー (Western Show on Super Mario World)

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I just found this amusing. >:)

The Square Root of Three

I fear that I will always be
A lonely number like root three

The three is all that’s good and right,
Why must my three keep out of sight
Beneath the vicious square root sign,
I wish instead I were a nine

For nine could thwart this evil trick,
with just some quick arithmetic

I know I’ll never see the sun, as 1.7321
Such is my reality, a sad irrationality

When hark! What is this I see,
Another square root of a three

As quietly co-waltzing by,
Together now we multiply
To form a number we prefer,
Rejoicing as an integer

We break free from our mortal bonds
With the wave of magic wands

Our square root signs become unglued
Your love for me has been renewed

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I <3 U

The Best Comic EVER!

Johnny The Homicidal Maniac.

This is my favourite comic of all time. Created by Jhonen Vasquez. He is also the same person who created the Invader Zim series. This comic is mainly about a teenager who thinks he's being controlled by some being behind a certain wall in his basement. Extremely aggressive, he goes around kidnapping people and brings them to his house to be extracted of their BLOOD ( OMG BLOOD ). Then he has to paint wall in blood so that the 'being' doesn't get out and destroy the world( or something like that ). Contents of this comic should not be read by those weak of heart.
BUT, if you DO want a copy, you can always ask me for one. =)

A scene from the comic. GAHH GORY..

Seminar Skor-A at UM.

Last Sunday, on the 20th of July, a few people and I attended a seminar at University MarcusFuu. Honestly, it was BORING and not worth the money(ugh) BUT I did have a good time camwhoring with muh buddies.

The third segment of the seminar, as you can see, theres only so much I can absorb for one day.

Sofia's HUGE sunglasses.

Malay and Chinese Kung Fu session.

Group Pic!

Emo time.

Another group pic!


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Thats only a FEW of the many CAMWHORE picture's I've taken so far. Just keep pressing that 'refresh' button, I know you WANT to.

PS: Thanks to Qisthina for leaving her blog open for me to steal pictures from.

Blog Re-opened To The Public.

Due to some particular circumstances, I've decided to re-open my blog to the public. Yes, all you curious bastards, your prayers have been answered.

My Final Expression.

When I said I was gonna get you a present, I meant it. I present my final expression to you. Happy Birthday.

"Separated : Part One"

Special thanks to my fellow Vertebrate™ member, WCheang, and Zenj too( Just trying to mend that permanent hole in your heart ).

Impressed?

Dear Yi Ting,

If you're impressed by THAT( PFFT ), I happen to have a piano piece to show you. As if THAT was impressive, again, PFFT~.



Additional Info,
Composed by Nobuo Uematsu.
Soundtrack of Final Fantasy VII : Advent Children.
Way better than that ( PFFT ) LP on Yi Ting's Blog

D:< *rawr*

Watch It, I Command You.

Watch the video to the END. Its hilarious.
Produced by Zenj and Fuu of the Vertebrates.



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*Wanna be a part of the Vertebrates™ ?

Requirement: A proper functioning Vertebrate.
Come for a walk in interview or contact these members of the club to arrange an appointment.

Fuu - 0122981073
Zenj - 0351229177
Cheang - 999
JJohn - 666

I Like Turtles

I Like Turtles.



I Like Turtles, The Sequel

To Shake Off the Mortal Coils.

To Shake Off the Mortal Coils

by Unknown author.

Last entry into a diary

A permanent solution to a temporary problem - that is what the wise and good people state to help. The way they make suicide look like a decision based on cowardice is remarkable, when in the end it is a clear statement of one's strength - at least mine. I cannot speak for all those others.

For all those others that take sleeping pills to attract attention.

For those that wait on the roof of a skyscraper until someone notices them to call the cops.

I can only speak for myself, and my decision is not based on weakness but on absolute power. Hamlet said it, Schopenhauer, Nietzsche, Camus and Sartre considered the question.

It is not based on weakness but on a free will, the liberty to contemplate the unthinkable. It is a question only the strongest can face.

They say it is easy to escape life but hard to go on with it. What fools. How many people can hold a gun to their head and pull the trigger?

How many can cut a knife into their arms to pierce arteries and veins?

How many can make the little step off a skyscraper?

How many can swallow the cyanide pill?

Small movements, a jerk of an index finger, a cut, a step, a swallow.

How many think they can do that but have to face their weakness on the doorsteps of a mysterious, scaring new existence?

How many have the mental strength to deal with such a decision?

How many can question their lives?

How many can face the fact that all they have done is useless and that there is no use apart from procreation -and what kind of a goal is that? Fucking, as the meaning of life. A goal for rabbits, for sheep, not for humans. And yet it is good enough for most.
To wait, to wait for something to come, to save them, something that does not exist, something that does not come. And so they keep on giving birth while standing on their graves, waiting like sheep.

How many can ask those questions?

How many can draw the consequences?

Those mentioned philosophers did not. None of them did agree to it in the end. None of them. Because suicide is wrong? Because as Nietzsche stated, the philosopher has to live his thoughts and hence set an example in dying. None of them were strong enough to do that. Whimps. Intellectual wankers, smart asses, suckers. Unworthy to have been read by me.

It is easy to live, to go on with it, to stand the treatmill. All you have to do is switch off your brains, not think, do what you are told and expected to and you will get old. There is nothing easier than living. Man is built to endure pain. He can easily bear the whips and scorns of time as long as he doesn't question them, and as long as he is not confident enough to wonder whether it is worth suffering. All it takes is to stick to the routine. There is nothing simpler than that.

Yeah, sure they will find reasons when they dig in my past. They will say:

He could not stand the pressure his profession had put on him, he had always suffered from depression, he was suffering from a broken heart when his girlfriend left him. He could not stand loneliness, unrequited love of all sorts. He was too sensitive.

Those would be their words.

Bullshit.

And they will be feigning sympathy and compassion, they will look at the art, the literature and state how great it was, what a loss it is, what a great future lay ahead of him.

The sympathy of the deaf, dumb and blind, the braindead, the sympathy of the hens in the battery.

This is not the reason.
Sure, I am bleeding all over the place, sure I am suffering from pressure, sure I have always been depressed, sure all of this is true. But it is not the reason. I am not doing this out of pain. This is a decision based on positivity. Lust for life. But not that stale and dull life. Real life, genuine emotions.

To shake off this mortal coil,
To step up to the Gods and to spit in their faces,
To make the final decision, the only one that cannot be undone.
Knowing that it might be a terrible mistake, a Faustian mistake, a bargain with the devil.
A voluntary step into something unknown.
Emptyness?
Heaven?
Hell?

Suicide is not based on weakness, it is based on absolute power - at least in my case.

Imagine:

To stand on top of the highest cliff.
To feel the wind tearing at my clothes, the elements.
The only truth left in a world of lies and hypocrisy.
The beauty of the abyss.
The anticipation, like anticipating the greatest sex, an existential foreplay.
Looking down into oblivion and voidness.
The ground far, far away as it seems from here, but in reality only a couple of seconds away.
Standing there.
Feeling eternity in a restricted world.
Feeling a decision in a prefabricated existence.

To draw the final breath,
To make that little step,
To know, that for once a decision was made,
To feel one foot above the abyss,
To think for a split second you can float in the air like the cartoon characters on TV,
To feel losing balance,
To fall,
To gain speed,
To have the air tear at your hair and clothes,
To feel the cold wind violently caress you,
To see the ground coming closer,
To scream in orgiastic excitement,
To know what you have done,
To know that you have done something for once.

Maybe even: To doubt,
To regret,
To wish yourself back to the top of the peak that you are pacing away from.
Mercilessly
To fly into annihilation,
To see the truth, whether it is a beautiful or an unbearable truth for the fraction of a second only.

Those 10 seconds would be - must be - will be much more revealing than 10 years of most other people,
Than the whole life of most other people. More true, essential, focused, divine. Purer. 70 years forced into seconds. Refined into pure knowledge and truth.

Those 10 seconds would be - must be - will be worth a lifetime.

A worthy payment for endless agony

No more endless, unbearable pain.
No more routine.
No more repetition.
No more

-- Peace.

To sleep, perchance to dream.

To give in to the tiredness.

To fall asleep.

To find solace.

No more agony.

To end.

The end.

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So don't discriminate a person just because he believes that suicide isn't a wrong thing to do. Perhaps its just a way out which many fail to accept or see. Truly fits my opinions. Bravo.

Funny Stuff.

I was surfing looking for some stuff when I found this thing called 'Cool Ways to Kill Yourself'.
I'm just gonna post up the ones I found funny.

Intro:
Cool Ways to Kill Yourself

©1995, Scott Christensen, all rights reserved.

Life Got You Down?

If you've been a little depressed lately and have contemplated partaking in the bliss of death, here are some suggestion on how to kill yourself. Even if you don't use these exclusive royalty free suicide methods, remember to do it as creatively as possible.

Don't be boring and just take sleeping pills, go out with style and flare. All these methods require some planning but don't let that dissuade you. Your life must be pretty pathetic if you're killing yourself. Why not leave a legacy?

Explosives Strapped to Your Body

Difficulty level: 7

1. Get a LOT of explosives. The more the better.
2. Hook up a detonator to an altimeter. Set it for 100-200 feet. That will give you good dispersion.
3. Mix vaseline and gasoline in a bucket.
4. Find a really tall building. Something like the World Trade Center (not anymore, but you get the idea smarty pants) is perfect and is in a sufficiently crowded area to generate the proper sized crowd.
5. Get an extra large trench coat, ski mask, duct tape and a very reliable wind-proof lighter. Torch lighters are best.
6. Bring your materials to the top of your building. Liberally apply the vaseline-gasoline mixture to your entire body. Duct tape the explosives around your legs, arms, head and torso. The more explosives you use, the better. Attach the altimeter to the explosives.
7. Put on the trench coat and mask so that the explosives are not visible.
8. Start ranting and throwing things so that you are sure to attract notice. Drag this part out as long as possible. Say anything that comes to mind but try to stay away from real problems. Your love life does not make for a good sound bite, something about trees telling you to kill yourself works good. Ask for news cameras from the major networks, so you can warn them of the coming tree invasion. Pace around while waving your arms and pointing a lot. If there are trees around, point at them.
9. DO NOT let on that you have explosives on your body. The police will clear the area and you definitely don't want that.
10. When you've gotten the crowd to a fevered pitch, when the helicopters are hovering like vultures, whip off the jacket and set yourself on fire.
11. Wait until you are completely engulfed in flame then jump.
12. Try to steer yourself towards the people in the crowd who are chanting 'jump, jump, jump'. That way flaming falling body parts will pelt them when you explode. If you used enough explosives, everyone within seeing distance will have a piece of you.
13. Congratulations! You've just made history. I bet it feels good just thinking about it. But don't cheer up, there are plenty of other ways to do the deed.

Falling through Chain Saws

Difficulty level: 10

This is much more difficult to pull off. Instead of explosives, the money shot is you falling though three or four operating chain saws. You do not need as high a building for this --- anything above three stories will do. Remember to use the vaseline-gasoline mixture. That's the ingredient that adds pizazz.

Bullet in Your Head

Difficulty level: 1

>HAMMER<>

Meat Grinder(SUPER FUNNY)

Difficulty level: 11

Find a sausage making company that has a giant meat grinder. Set up a hidden video camera to tape your death. Leave a will with explicit instructions that it not be read until one year after the night of your grinding. In it, detail the way you died and the location of the hidden camera.

Sneak in at night naked and turn on the video camera. Climb into the grinder and take massive amounts of pills of your choice. Make sure it is enough to kill you.

In the morning you will be ground up and made into sausages. One year later your will, will be read to the news media and people all around the nation will vomit simultaneously.

Drown in Your Own Urine

Difficulty level: 8

Get a huge vat or possibly an above ground pool. Save all your urine. Drown yourself in it. Put a note on the side of the pool saying, "MY URINE."

This method would work for any body fluid: vomit, snot, dooty. For you despondent guys out there: A vat of your own sperm would be truly impressive. You will have to get some viagra and work frantically for years, but what else have you got to do?
Pop into alt.binaries.erotica.bestiality, get the vibrator out and get crackin'. Remember, do something really weird and original, something that will tell them you are/were special.

End the Holiday Madness

Difficulty level: 6

Anyone with half a brain hates the Thanksgiving to Christmas season. There is too much family. Too many happy annoying people demanding things from you. Too much forced joy specials on television. And WAY too many repetitions of songs you've been listening to since childhood.

The only way to escape this recurring nightmare is to:

1. If you have any investments, convert them to money. Take all your money and lose it playing online poker . This is especially important if you are well off. Don't tell family members and other greedy people that would profit from your demise. After you die, they will go crazy trying to find the missing money. They may even kill each other. This will bring you satisfaction, maybe even some companionship, in hell.
2. Now, stick your head in the turkey just after it comes out of the oven, preferably during the Christmas Day family gathering but a Thanksgiving Day end may also serve your purposes. Your timing really depends on your own peculiar circumstances.
3. Run around banging into family members all the while flailing your arms and yelling obscenities. You can never go wrong flailing your arms when trying to kill yourself. The more flailing the better.
4. Go into a room that can be easily locked so you won't be accidentally saved by well meaning but inconsiderate friends or family members.
   [Alternatively you can just flee the house and run through the streets aimlessly until you pass out. NO ONE in a large city will ever go near someone with a steaming turkey on his head. If you live in a wooded or rural area the best thing to do would be to run off into the wilderness so your body can be found with all sorts of gnaw marks on it from the multitude of animals that will flock to your decaying carcass (and the turkey's too).]
5. An interesting footnote to this holiday might be to swallow a large number of Christmas ornaments (lights, small Santa dolls, actual fruit cake) before you follow your bliss. Give your family and friends (if you have either) something to discuss the following year.

Funny, no? Methods just too cool for me. :D

Woot.

4 sleepless days, WHATTA RECORD MANNNNNNN~!!

Back To Where We Started.

I told her I loved her,
She said she did too,
I said I could wait another 4 months,
She said it probably won't happen,
And I couldn't accept what she said,
I don't know WTF is going on and whats my next move,
But currently suicide is on the list.

Problem Settled...?

Today after 20 grueling minutes of trying to dig the truth out, I finally got her to say it.
The problem now is, is she just saying that for the moment, or does she really mean it?
Currently, I have no idea how am I supposed to feel.

a) Happy?
or
b) Sad?

Turning to a More Easier Method of Relief?

For the past few weeks, I've been really EMO as most of you know, and I've been thinking of ways to be happy. I already watched anime, played the piano and computer. To think I'd actually think of smoking but I turned SHISHA. Its an activity supposedly not as dangerous as cigarettes (as described by Matt), but Nick( NOT Kota Kemuning Nick, its some other guy in Subang, yes, hi Nick) said I shouldn't do it anymore as it is actually a unfiltered form of tobacco smoking. FYI, cigarettes HAVE filters. Though I made a promise, I am that EMO to that extent, sorry Nick.

Coming soon : Shisha PICS!!

SOGEKING!

Losing Everybody One By One.

Anyone of you had the feeling of losing a best friend? What about losing that particular person to a bunch of inconsiderate jerks? Yes, I lost someone who I would've given the privileged to read my blog. Yes, I do miss her company at times but she'd rather hang out with THOSE people. Boo~

Thanks to Yi Ting's help I could finally sleep as my thoughts and doubts have been cleared out. Since I'm in a good mood today, and possibly for the next week, I'll try muh best to win that RM500-RM1000 prize at a DotA competition(at a church...) and I'll treat you, yes YOU people.

=)

...?

First and foremost, I would like to welcome the exclusive readers of my blog. Yay~

Some of you can already guess the reason I'd make my blog private. You know who's its related to la, MOSTLY.

For my first private post, I wanna exclaim my gratitude to those I've invited to this blog. Although SPM's getting closer and we're gonna grow apart by the next year, I wanna say that you guys make changes in my life for teh better and I kinda feel I don't appreciate you people enough. Just feeling semi-emo and wanna say sorry for anything I might have done that have caused some discomfort to some of you( except Zen Jie : Yes, I still think you're gay).

I truly love all of you from the bottom of my heart(s). Thanks.
PS: I'm not a homosexual. Zen Jie is.

Kota Kemuning

Kota Kemuning - Klang Valley's Finest.

Yes, this is the township where I reside. Where nothing works out and everything goes wrong. Squirming with Mapeks yet we Cina people make it by a long shot. Not to mention the higher standard Inapeks, heck they're doing well on their own. But yet, Kota Kemuning is a depressing place, no? I'm sure Shen Loong agrees with me. :)

Fuck You KK.